WINDOW SHOPPING FOR THE TRUTH (Poetry of the Seed)

I'm window shopping for the truth
'Cause the elders told me
They're on sale right now

I'm not buying anything
'Cause my folks didn't give me enough
To spend on one truth
My dad put all his trust on Wall Street
My mom .. well she never buys anything
She trusts nothing and says nothing out there is fool proof
She makes her own truth, home made stuff
and she seems to be happy with it
and though it's good, and relaxing
and there's ethnic music all around us
and the house smells of scented candles
it doesnt satisfy me
because it doesn't tell me anything
About who I am
What I must become
Or if I'm doing the right thing

I only have enough trust to spend on
The truths that my friends sell me
'Cause it helps, somehow
Like truths on boys
Or truths on friendship
Whats real and whats fake
What's hot and what's not
So I'm window shopping
Because I can't afford to
Put all my trust on one truth
No not just yet
I walk past all these shops
And look at each one from a distance

Some shops have huge bright signs, so welcoming
Some seem exclusive, some with open doors
Some are packed with stars and lights celestial things, so cosmic
Some have a cross, some have none
Some are quiet and spacious with lots of bald clients
Some seem quite sensual, too sensual
I had to stop staring
And kept going

I was afraid to go in and enter any one of them
I'm afraid that if I go in
I might never go out
Or if I do, I won't even recognize myself
I see a lot of me out here
Wandering...
Wondering
If there really is one
Some were impulse buying
Some took a while to buy as they were being convinced, 

but gave in

I walked a few miles away to a quiet corner
A dimly lit pathway
It's quite dark, but its actually nice
Just to have a view of all shops
From where I stand
They all seem to offer something

I want to buy one
I really want to belong

One of these days
I'll figure it out
But for now
Maybe I'll just hang out here
And keep it this way
In the middle of this dimly lit path
Window shopping for the truth

~ o ~

Written on 3.07.11